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I used to believe that I had to answer any personal question that was asked of me. I would read newspaper advice columns and wonder how people got the courage to tell other people to “mind their own business” if they asked a question that was too personal. It seemed impossible to me. I can’t say that in recovery I go around telling everyone to mind their own business, but I’m learning how to say things like “Oh, that’s a long story” or “Please, don’t get me started.” Now I understand that I don’t owe my friends or family any explanation. I may come to the point where I want to share certain things with them, but when to share with them and how much to tell are decisions that are mine to make. Another sentence that I have learned to say is, “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” For me, that is recovery!
Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 94.