Coming Out of Isolation

We derive many things from Step Five. Coming out of isolation is one benefit. Most of us came into S-Anon feeling deeply lonely. Many of us had suffered since childhood with a sense of not belonging. When we reached S-Anon we found ourselves among people who really understood, and a sense of belonging began to grow inside. But hearing others share in a way that we strongly identify with is not the only thing that makes us feel that we belong. We come to realize that we need to speak with complete honesty about our own conflicts to reach true kinship with God and others. Another benefit of working Step Five is an increase in the character quality of humility. Humility has been defined as the accurate assessment of one’s self, so the first practical move toward developing this attribute is to recognize who and what we are. Then we make a sincere attempt to become all that we can.

We emerge from isolation, and when we risk sharing our stories with supportive people, our guilt is relieved and we come to a place of greater peace: the dammed-up emotions of years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing tranquility takes its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something else of a great moment is apt to occur. … even those who had faith already often become conscious of God as they never were before. [Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 62.]

Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, pages 52-53.