What about practicing these principles in all our affairs? Can we bring the same love and tolerance we are developing in the S-Anon group to our families, personal relationships, and work relationships? Yes, we can begin. This is how further spiritual development occurs. We have seen the importance of “walking the walk,” not just “talking the talk.” We found that our old habit of following our impulses needed revision, because some of our impulses led us into rage, fear and irrational thinking. We learned that giving in to those impulses was not always the best choice for our emotional serenity. As we placed our spiritual growth first, we discovered a better way of living for ourselves and those around us. We surely have come a long way since the time when our desperate need for emotional security drove us into unworkable relationships. We had either dominated others or been overly dependent upon them. We had played games, putting ourselves in the position of the victim, the rescuer or the persecutor. At times we interchanged all of those roles.
Some of us blamed others, not seeing our unreasonable demands. Now we see that too much dependence on people is unsuccessful because all of us are fallible. Even the best person might fail us, especially when our demands for attention are unreasonable. We now find that the best source of emotional stability is our Higher Power, or God as we understand Him. S-Anon’s Tradition Two suggests that we depend upon one authority, “a loving God as He may express Himself… ” His perfect love and forgiveness turns all fear away. We found that freedom from fear was more important to us than adhering to impulsive habits from the past. It was quite revealing to find out how many of us were overly fearful. Today we have gained confidence, trust, and knowledge of God. We see that our Higher Power requires us but to “do justice, love mercy and to walk humbly with our God.”We have seen many miracles in our lives and are confident that the road ahead leads toward higher levels than we would ever have dreamed possible.
Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, pages 144-145.