The tools of the S-Anon program are actions we take, principles we use, and attitudes we develop. The actions we take include going to meetings, sharing with others, finding and being a sponsor, reading S-Anon literature; writing down our thoughts and feelings, and being of service. The principles we use are found in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of S-Anon. They include ideas aimed at allowing us to develop spiritually, as we are guided by the Higher Power of our understanding. The basic attitudes that we aim toward developing are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. These tools, when used with the Twelve Steps of S- Anon, help our lives to gradually become more serene and fulfilling. Examples of how the tools are used come directly from members themselves.
Many of us found that before we could begin to use the tools of S-Anon, we had to let go of, or at least loosen our grip on the “old tools” that may have helped us survive, but simply did not work well anymore. The old tools may have included denial, obsession with the sexaholic, covering up the problem, isolation, rage, and manipulation. In letting go of the old tools, we were able to try new, more effective ways to aid us in recovery. While letting go was at times frightening, we saw that it was the only way to achieve the serenity we longed to have.
Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, pages 2-3.