In one of those amazing program coincidences, I attended an S-Anon meeting on sponsorship only a few hours after my sponsor asked me to do a mini-inventory of our sponsor/sponsee relationship. The meeting chairperson passed around a box containing questions about sponsor- ship on individual pieces of paper. She asked each of us to answer the question we drew from the box and to make our comments pertinent to what we hoped to gain from having a sponsor. My question was: “Why is sponsorship important?” Here is my answer.
The major way sexaholism affected me was by eroding my ability to participate in healthy relationships. It increased my difficulty in trusting others, setting boundaries, keeping the focus on myself, being honest about my feelings, and respecting others. What I hope to gain from my sponsor is what I am receiving. My sponsor grounds me in reality, gently showing me the ways I deceive myself. She loves me unconditionally, a real benefit when admitting my unbecoming behavior and true feelings. She helps me improve my ability to apply the Twelve Steps and create a better life for my family and me. She gives generously of her time, her energy, and her positive out- look. This is by far the most honest relationship I have ever had, and I am finding that learning how to be healthy in this relationship is spilling over and improving all the other relationships in my life.
Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 72.