Living in the Real World

Step Ten continues the recovery process of admission of our wrongs, forgiveness, and restitution that underlie Steps Four through Nine. instead of compulsively focusing on others, we now commit to deliberate self-examination for the purpose of keeping close to God and our fellows and staying on course. This self-focus is not an obsessive drive for perfection or a perpetual dwelling in the past, but rather a basic commitment to honesty and growth. In Step Ten we regularly take stock of our liabilities, looking particularly for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear, as well as for our progress, good choices, successes and gifts for which we can be grateful. We inventory honestly and avoid rationalizing and excessive guilt. We are compassionate with ourselves, acknowledging our own humanity. Step Ten helps us live in the real world, not in denial or fantasy. It gives us permission to admit our mistakes to ourselves and others and to take responsibility for any harm caused by our mistakes.

We find that regular use of Step Ten can make us aware of old behavior and destructive thoughts more quickly. It helps us cultivate the practice of kindness, love, patience, tolerance and understanding, and further develops our connection with the Higher Power of our understanding.


Reprinted from S-Anon Twelve Steps, pages 121-122.