Service is the Action of Recovery.
The Gifts of Service is a topic
that fills my mind with thoughts of past occasions of service
and happiness for the opportunities for growth.
But which service to focus on?
Sponsorship? Running a meeting? Taking a meeting service
position? Doing Intergroup service? Participating on committees
for outreach? Organizing retreats and one day conferences? All
of these opportunities were available to me and each one has
taught me something about myself while deepening my gratitude to
the S-Anon program.
For me the disease of S-Anon is
my enmeshment in other people, places and things. Service has
allowed me to learn how to set boundaries for myself, to be part
of a group; sometimes to lead and sometimes to follow. It felt
frightening to do any service in the beginning. I didn't yet
realize that showing up to a meeting and then sharing are both
services to the S-Anon fellowship.
I thought that leading a
meeting was my “first service.” It took me a month to plan for
my “big day.” Obviously, I felt in charge and responsible. I
hadn't learned that service work meant asking God what to do and
then surrendering to God's will. I thought I had to plan the
perfect meeting and that if I did a good job, people would share
and they would like me and give me praise and support.
Thank goodness the other S-Anon
members’ programs were strong enough to allow me to progress at
my own rate. If I wanted to obsess about a meeting, no one was
going to deny me my insanity. By allowing me to do service in
my own way, I faced many truths about who I am and where I had
been. I brought my illness into the group and was healed. It
wasn't what people said, it's what they did. They just loved me
for who I was and where I was. They trusted that I could and
would change; that working the S-Anon program would bring me the
gifts of serenity, humility, charity, compassion and love. That
I would learn that service isn't about leading, it's about being
a trusted servant. As I made my mistakes and explored my
character defects of control, hyper-vigilance and compulsion,
people were with me and loved me every step of the way.
We need trusted servants in
S-Anon. We are growing. The fellowship is more mature than it
was 12 years ago when I was a newcomer. S-Anon needs new ideas
and new people who are willing to have growing pains as they
serve the fellowship. We will not grow perfectly, but we will
progress. For me, I know that service helps me to use the pain
I have suffered to heal myself and others. When we are really
ready to change, service makes it possible. Unless we are
willing to serve S-Anon with joy and gratitude, we will probably
stay in our discomfort and self-pity. Recovery requires action.
Service is the
action of Recovery. It is where all the Gifts of the Program
are embedded. It is the triangle of strength: Steps, Traditions
and Concepts in action: Service! My first sponsor told me to
say "yes" anytime someone asked me to do service, unless it was
going to cause me to die. That has never been the case. Death,
I mean. When I am asked, I am honored, willing and ready. Join
me. Let's serve S-Anon together!
