"The Gifts of the Program"

Members share some of the gifts they have received from the S-Anon program.

• Gifts of the Program!  Where to start?  One of the greatest gifts of the program is the ability to see recovery behavior permeating all aspects of my life, not just my interactions with an addict which initially brought me to S-Anon.  In relationships with family and friends, at work, participating in organizations, and most importantly in my relationship with my Higher Power, I recognize that I am approaching life in a healthier manner, using tools which I would never have known if not for S-Anon.  These are priceless gifts of the program.

   

• It has taken many years in the program for me to acknowledge parts of myself, both good and bad, that I previously ignored. I grew up with the idea that I had to always get things right and be likeable.  I’ve really been struck recently by the concept of honesty and authenticity – being who I truly am no matter whom I am with or how much I want to impress them. To be honest and authentic is often frightening for me, especially when I could be rejected.  But when I have decided to take a leap of faith, Higher Power was always there to catch me.

   

• The GIFT I have found in the Program is that this honesty and authenticity has lead to true intimacy with others such as my family and friends, and the realization that those who are unable to accept the real me are not people with whom I should try to be emotionally intimate.  I have often tried to force myself into situations or relationships that really did not fit ME, but rather fit the fantasy world that I had created.  Today, I am actively trying to choose and see the reality of both who I am and who others are.  Only then can I be truly available for intimate, loving relationships with others and enter into relationships where I am not setting myself up for failure or rejection.

   

• There are many gifts I have gotten from the S-Anon program, but a very important one is relief from my feelings of isolation.  At my very first meeting, I felt I belonged.  I related to the shares I heard at that meeting and, when I shared, everyone understood.  I instantly knew I did not have to feel alone anymore.  The support, understanding and love that members give to one another is incredible ... it is truly Higher Power at work.  I've regained my dignity and my sense of humor.  Thank you, Higher Power, for leading me to this wonderful program.  I am very grateful. 

• Of all of the gifts that I have experienced through the S-Anon program, one of the most valuable to me has been fellowship with others in the program.

   

• I was not aware of the existence of S-Anon during the first 27 years of my marriage, and I felt completely alone in trying to understand and deal with my husband's sexaholism.  He had convinced me that good wives do not betray confidences, and that he couldn't share his life with me if he had to worry about me telling someone.  Trying to differentiate between his lies and the truth, and struggling to deal properly with frequent manipulation --- all while longing for a God "with skin on" --- brought on feelings of despair and insanity.

   

• How refreshing it has been to have the opportunity to develop a relationship with others who truly understand how I feel, what I have lived through, and what I am currently dealing with.  Not only does participating in the meetings and in the conversations that follow alleviate my loneliness and desire for a "kindred spirit," but words are not adequate to convey how wonderful it is to have a safe place to be completely honest and to bounce concerns off of others who can share their experience in similar situations, and offer sincere and sympathetic support during even the toughest times.