|
"It was a relief to hear people talk about
sexual issues." |
I
had been in Al-Anon for two years when I found out about
my husband's sexaholism. I took some positive steps
toward my own recovery, but I had every excuse in the
book not to attend S-Anon - "My other program is
helping me." "The S-Anon meeting
is too small...I need a larger meeting." "I'm
not like those people." "He never did those
things." "I might run into a client or former
client." It never occurred to me to question why
the same excuses didn't keep me away from my other
program. When I did start to attend S-Anon
meetings, I felt like a complete newcomer. I struggled
with my wish to control, my guilt and my anger. It was a
relief to hear people talk about sexual issues. I began
to look at what sex means to me and how I used sex to
manipulate my husband and reassure myself of my self
worth. I talked about boundaries and abstinence. Today,
I continue to work both programs because I need both.
Ironic as it may seem, I am grateful for my husband's
sexaholism because it has forced me to look at my own
addiction to people and to the illusion of control. I've
learned that I can draw strength from my Higher Power
and the power of my groups. |
