I am learning in recovery that if I want to experience peace and happiness, I need to do some basic but necessary foot work. I have found I need to consciously work on four areas of my life to find balance. The first is my conscious contact with my Higher Power. Practicing Step Eleven each day reminds me that I am not alone and not in charge. With this, nearly all other aspects of finding balance seem to flow much easier. Without this, things just don’t flow well at all. The second area is the rest of my program: getting to meetings regularly, and intentionally practicing the Steps and Traditions. This helps me continue to grow and feel healthier and happier with who I am. A commitment to prayer and meditation, and working the S-Anon program, help to support me in the third and fourth areas of my life: relationships with family and friends and responsibilities at work and outside activities. With recovery providing the solid foundation for my life, I am guided to do the next right thing. With recovery, I have a solid foundation to keep my life in balance and to be the best that I can be.
Reprinted from S-Anon’s Reflections of Hope, page 215.
Coming to my first S-Anon meeting, I was thinking that I’d find the “keys to recovery for the sexaholic in my life.” Instead, what I found was the S-Anon Problem. It hit me square in the eyes — and it left a welt for days. But it was a spiritual awakening for me. I was broken enough to know that my self-reliance had run riot in my life and I was out of other options. I was lucky that day because a woman who’d had decades of program experience said to me “Honey, I can tell you one thing, and one thing only. Your only hope is the Steps and the Traditions. Don’t skip either.” I believed her and so I surrendered. My disease had me beat.
We were a new group — and we felt alone. None of us had done S-Anon work before and we all lacked sponsors. We called the WSO [World Service Office] and were given the names of some established, larger groups in our region. Most of us found out of town sponsors – something for which we are eternally grateful. In talking to these women I learned that in one city they did annual Step Studies. I thought: “OK; I can do that.” This really appealed to me because the commitment I had to myself was never as strong as my commitment to others. If I could get a Step Study going, I knew my desire to honor the group would keep me coming back and doing the work. For three weeks I announced in the meeting that I was going to start a Step Study and that if you wanted to participate, come to the planning meeting. Miraculously, ten women joined the study and the spiritual journey began. We met each Saturday morning for 2 hours and we went over 3 questions from the S-Anon Twelve Step Workbook out loud. We established guidelines – this was not to be a therapy group, no cross-talk, and no breeches of anonymity outside this room. We committed to each other and to ourselves. And it literally saved our lives. Read more
Every time I share about my experiences with sexaholism and what happened to me throughout my childhood, my adult life, and my marriage the pain decreases. I can see more clearly now that I am speaking the truth about my situation. I had been in denial about those experiences prior to my S-Anon recovery. I knew I had been living a lie, but I didn’t want to admit it. When I allowed the light and the truth to come in, I found a brand new life waiting for me. Carrying the message has helped me to heal. When I speak the truth, the truth sets me free. That is a spiritual principle that always works for me. Carrying the message of my truth to others is like turning on the light in a dark room. The darkness just goes. I love to carry this message of hope and recovery.
Reprinted from Working the S-Anon Program, 2nd Edition, page 111.