It Really Does Work

I was real familiar with going into a group and blending into the woodwork. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting somebody’s feelings, or making a fool of myself. I always worried about how other people saw me, so I thought the best approach for me at my first meeting was not to speak, and I wondered if I would ever be able to share with the group. After I had been coming to meetings for a while someone told me, “If you want to get better, you have to raise your hand. You have to share what’s going on with you.” And when I felt ready, I did. And it really does work.

 

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Newcomer’s Information Booklet.

A Weight Was Lifted

It was like coming home! Several years before I found S-Anon I was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. At that time I said to my therapist, “I wish there was a group like Al-Anon for me because I feel completely alone.” But the S-Anon people at that first meeting knew my pain and my despair. The topic of the discussion was “enabling,” and it nearly broke my heart to find out that all my frantic efforts to “help” had actually “helped” my husband stay in addiction. At the same time, a two-ton weight was lifted from my shoulders when I was told this behavior was not my responsibility. Finally I was given the chance to work on myself and it hurts so good!

 

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Newcomer’s Information Booklet.

Out of Despair and Denial

I remember sitting there and having no idea what was happening. I didn’t understand what they meant by “powerlessness” and I didn’t understand how my life was unmanageable. I could hear it in other people’s stories, but I thought I was there to support my husband – he was the one with the problem, not me! The topic of the meeting that night was “Anger” and I remember being appalled and thinking to myself, “This is the angriest bunch of people I ever met in my life!” I didn’t know then that “If you spot it, you got it.” I didn’t know at that point how angry I was inside. I slowly came to realize that I was powerless over a lot of things…finally after about five meetings I was able to start listening. I had to come to the point of despair in order to come out of denial, but it was wonderful that my S-Anon group was there to support me.

 

Reprinted from S-Anon’s Newcomer’s Information Booklet.

Why I am Here

I have shared this before and it hasn’t changed for me. It reminds me on a daily basis why I am “here!” I like to call it my spiritual maintenance.

Tradition Five:  “Each S-Anon Family group has but one purpose:  to help families of sexaholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of S-Anon, by encouraging and understanding our sexaholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of sexaholics.”

I have to remember that S-Anon has but one purpose (including the on-line group has but one purpose).

If I haven’t got it I can’t give it away.  So I had to work very hard on my own “stuff.” I learned to apply the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to my life; I came to understand that the Spiritual basis of this Program is universal.

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